ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!??

Playoffs!? Don't talk about playoffs! I just hope we can win a game, another game! Four game losing streak now! I can't take it anymore!! Jimmy, you are a worse coach than your father, and that is saying a hell of a lot. This is the man who builds up the hopes of Falcons fans worldwide only to fuck everything up in the last half of the season. Don't worry Jimmy, the Saskatchewan Roughriders are looking for a coach. But when you go, please take that retarded monkey skeleton of an offensive co-ordinator with you!


UPDATE: Sports writer par excellence Gregg Easterbrook had this to say:

"As the Falcons have dropped four straight, everyone's focusing on criticizing Michael Vick. What about all the odd coaching decisions made by Mora and his assistants? Vick wasn't the one who ordered himself to take seven-step drops on passes against New Orleans -- something he's never been good at, and which plays away from his strength, the sprint-out pass. (Sprint-outs keep Vick closer to the line and also simplify the field, requiring him to look at only half the coverage, not the entire coverage as in a deep dropback.) Trailing 14-3, Atlanta had third-and-goal on the Saints' 2, on a day the Falcons would rush for 281 yards and average 6.2 yards per rush. Just run the ball! It wasn't Vick who not only called a passing play but a seven-step drop play that required him to run backward to the New Orleans 10; sack, and Atlanta settles for a field goal. You're on the 2, why are you instructing your quarterback to run backward to the 10? Last season's incident in which Mora the Younger did not know that a tie would keep Atlanta alive for the playoffs, and was screaming into a cell phone on the sidelines as he sent in the wrong decisions knocking the Falcons out of the postseason, is hardly the only weird coaching by Mora. Plus, a good coach focuses the criticism on himself, away from his players, a la Bear Bryant. Time to look away from Vick and toward the Atlanta sideline.

Go Stelmach

You Can't Teach That brings you a rare post on the subject of politics.

And then there were three:

Jim Dinning: 29,470 (30.17%)
Ted Morton: 25,614 (26.22%)
Ed Stelmach: 14,957 (15.31%)
Lyle Oberg: 11,638 (11.91%)
Dave Hancock: 7,595 (7.78%)
Mark Norris: 6,789 (6.95%)
Victor Doerksen: 873 (0.89%)
Gary McPherson: 744 (0.76%)

I expected Dinning and Norris' totals to be higher and Stelmach did better than I anticipated. This is a pleasant surprise since I've been a Stelmach supporter for the last couple of months.

Here's what I'm thinking:
-A northern alliance forms with Hancock, Norris and (for what it's worth) McPherson endorsing Stelmach. In fact, Hancock has already given Ed his blessing. I expect Doerksen will support Morton. Oberg could really go either way, but I suspect he'll go with Morton as well (he certainly wouldn't support Dinning...)
-The Dinning and Morton camps will fling crap at each other all week while Stelmach will mostly stay out of it and do the under the radar thing. This could give Ed a lot of second place votes.
-Morton's campaign has the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why is he so popular? Meanwhile, Dinning's continues to stall and continues to resemble Paul Martin's play it safe campaign. Stelmach picked up steam in the last couple of weeks, but I think he threw everything he had at making the second ballot. I'm not sure how much he has left. Dinning should still have plenty of funds.

Here's my early prediction for first place votes, which assumes the vote total from the first ballot remains the same:

Jim Dinning: 35.1%
Ted Morton: 33.6%
Ed Stelmach: 31.3%

Once the second place votes are counted:

Jim Dinning: 52.2%
Ted Morton: 47.8%

I will make a revised prediction late in the week that isn't based on so many assumptions. Let the games begin. Go Stelmach.

UPDATE: Fuck! Daveberta beat me to the Afghan Northern Alliance reference. I'll have to be clever some other time.

Spontaneity

It was 12:15 PM on Saturday. My parents were bugging me about something, (I wasn't really paying attention) my work angst hit an all-time high on Friday, and I was dreading Convocation. So I pulled up my MSN list, clicked on Blobra's name, said "see you in 4 hours" and took off to Calgary. I hadn't been there since July. When we got there, we picked up 24 beers and proceeded to get drunk as fuck. Other events included ending up in Strathmore for dinner at Blobra's mom's house and going to some house party at 2 AM. Unfortunately, I left my fucking camera at home. And then in the morning, I vowed to quit drinking forever and then went home.

The best road trips are the spontaneous ones.

Big Movie Update

I watched some of these such a long time ago that they're out of the theater already. Warning: May contain traces of spoilers and/or plot ending details.

ON THE BIG SCREEN:

Trailer Park Boys: Trailer Park Boys plays like an overlong TV episode. The writers forgot that anything can happen in a TV-based movie, yet they didn't set one toe outside the boundaries of the TV series (except for the frontal nudity.) They also strayed from the "mockumentary" style that the show is filmed in, which made certain elements of the story feel far-fetched and ridiculous. Sometimes, the show is even funnier because the camera guy ducks when there are shots fired and sometimes, crew or equipment are visible (all done intentionally, of course.) Also, there are numerous places where the movie storyline is not synchronized with the TV storyline (i.e. Bubbles' original shed was destroyed by Ricky in a fire and it made no mention of Ricky and Lucy's first wedding) and I consider that a slap to the faces of the show's longtime fans.

The Departed: This is a great spy vs. spy movie where the suspense keeps building. You hardly even notice it's 2 hours and 45 minutes, unlike The Aviator which had some lulls. I was quite surprised to see Jack Nicholson cast instead of Bobby DeNiro, because Bobby would have fit the role quite well, and Jack at age 75 is new to the gangster genre. Nevertheless, he put on a pretty good performance, as did DiCaprio (but not as good as Gangs of NY, or Aviator.) I felt Damon's performance lagged behind the other leads, but that's to be expected. Now I have to go see the Hong Kong version.

Jackass Number Two: Not a movie. Again, more of an overlong TV episode. Of course, the movie has its advantages...the stunts are grosser and/or more expensive and elaborate, and they're allowed to say fuck without having to bleep it out. It also contains more Dave England than the first movie, which is a huge plus. If you were a fan of the first movie, I'd say this one is about on par. It's not much funnier, but it is grosser.

Little Miss Sunshine: I was quite reluctant to see a movie called Little Miss Sunshine, but it came very highly recommended to me from three people with very different tastes in movies. The story itself is not all that original...consider it "The Royal Tenenbaums meets I Heart Huckabees", but the writers still do a wonderful job of putting it all together, and the acting was superb. The way they tied the story in with Proust was just...wow. I think a lot of families can relate in some ways, and some claim to be even more dysfunctional. People who watch movies with me know that movies about midlife crisis get an automatic pass, but the situation with Dwayne really hit home for me. Probably the best movie I've seen all year.

Flyboys: The one major complaint I have about Flyboys is that I could have written it. The story was very weak...there were no surprises because anyone who wasn't born yesterday knew exactly how the next scene was going to go. Also, my hard and fast rule is that filmmakers should not use CGI where they can avoid it. Nearly all of the flying sequences were CGI (but quite well done.) The love story they threw in was very lame, and all the characters were too flat to be in a movie about war heroes.

Flags Of Our Fathers: I was surprised by this one. I hate Paul Haggis and Clint Eastwood (as a director) so much that I almost didn't go. I expected it to be about the Battle of Iwo Jima with some kind of controversial political agenda. I thought they'd ruin it by tying it to euthanasia, like they did with Million Dollar Baby. Thankfully, there was none of that. What you see is what you get. It was very true to the historical facts and even delivered a pretty good theme about war propaganda. Thumbs up all around, especially to Adam Beach who was spectacular as Drunken Ira Hayes. Give him Best Supporting Actor right now.

On Deck: Casino Royale, Bobby, Let's Go To Prison, 10 Items Or Less, The Good Shepherd, Borat

IN THE DVD PLAYER:

Akeelah And The Bee: Yikes. I can see why Oprah would like this movie. It is no different from the "underdog" stories that have been flooding Hollywood for years. Larry Fishburne almost single-handedly saves this movie, as he was quite good. But the tie at the end was just way too cheesy for my liking. I've seen the national spelling bee on ESPN and those kids are more competitive than any professional athlete I've ever seen and would never settle for that.

Cars: A lot of people pass on animated films because of their simplistic writing intended for younger and/or simpler audiences, but to do so is to miss out on some truly great works (Wallace and Grommit, Finding Nemo, South Park, etc.) This one depicts anthropomorphic cars and is very Doc Hollywood-esque. Pixar has given us some great films...having said that, if you take away A Bug's Life, this one is probably the worst. It contains all the cliche themes of a great children's film...the importance of friendship, good sportsmanship, and they throw in a love story for good measure. Still, it has its moments. Made me laugh to beat the band...parts, anyway...

Lucky Number Slevin: What a pleasant surprise this one was. It incorporated plenty of film noir elements and even made a direct reference to North by Northwest in the film. I had to watch the ending twice just so I could put all the pieces together. I also thought it was quite a coincidence that Ben Kingsley got snuffed the exact same way that he did in House of Sand and Fog. Another sad example of a great film that won't even get a sniff at the Oscars.

Poseidon: One of those "spectacle" movies with dazzling special effects and little else. And another example of a remake falling well short of the original. I think it just goes to show how water travel is so much more dangerous than air travel. Right? Right?

The Sentinel: I never sleep on airplanes. The first time I slept on an airplane was when I blew five bucks to watch this movie on Westjet. So that means there's something seriously wrong with it since it was supposed to be an action flick. The ending isn't all that surprising, and the film is entirely dependent on the ending grabbing the audience by the balls. Very disappointing.

24: Season Three: Last season, 24 focused on a nuclear weapon...in season three, a biological weapon. Now they just need a chemical weapon and they've nailed the big three (and are officially out of ideas as far as I'm concerned.) I think that Nina showing up to buy the virus was pretty convenient, and the whole "Jack Bauer in Mexico" thing was rather silly. I don't blame Palmer for being so pissed off at them for hatching that hair-brained scheme.

24: Season Four: Instead of following the format of the previous three seasons (two big storylines) this one had chunklets of about five or six storylines which made it seem too far-fetched to be a terrorist plot. They don't know that the more complicated the plan gets, the greater the chance of something getting fucked up. Marwan escaped so many times that it made CTU look like a dumb bunch of fucks. Overall, I'd say better than season three.

United 93: I hesitated to see this one because I had heard it was critical of the FAA. It's filmed in an unusual way...it reminded me of a reality show and the events took place in real time (Sept. 11 would have made for a good season of 24, yes?) It didn't give a thought to character development, which was a big plus, because it was totally irrelevant to the story (unlike World Trade Centre where the characters were relevant, but poorly developed all the same.)

V For Vendetta: I wish the Wachowskis would simply sell their ideas to the studios rather than trying to write them themselves. This had potential to be a really great movie. It was good...really good, but not great. It had good characters and an interesting setting, but it was a little light on the theme..."fascism bad." They could have done a lot more with this. And they've learned nothing from The Matrix...they attempted a romantic side story in this one too and fell flat on their faces again.