Update

So last weekend was super sports weekend...woohoo!

Thursday: Falcons win 27-7 in Detroit
Friday: Oilers win 2-1 (SO) in Calgary
Sunday: Smos win the Grey Cup, beating the Als 38-35 in OT

And on top of that, I produced my second winner of the season on Sports Select, collecting $45. Oddly enough, it was the one game that Heather got wrong this week that won it for me. Sorry Lady...

I blew off class on Tuesday to see the Grey Cup celebration at City Centre Mall. Hugh Campbell dedicated the win to everyone on the team who didn't play in the Grey Cup either because of injury or coaching decision, Danny Maciocia gushed that the fans are the 13th man...but number one in his heart, and Stephen Mandel declared November 29, 2005 to be Edmonton Eskimos Day. His little declaration started off with "Whereas it's party time in Edmonton..." and I just lost it right there...I didn't hear the rest of what he said. He was also hanging out with the cheer sluts and doing cheerleading tricks with them, which was also pretty funny. That's our slutty mayor!

Lastly, I'm making a promise to not talk about the upcoming election until it is over. There are plenty of blogs already doing that. All you need to know is that I'll hopefully be working as a DRO on election day again so if you eat your ballot, it may be me getting your ass arrested.

Oh here, have a picture too. This one is of Auntie Barb and I drinking Bailey's on my 18th birthday. Instead of handing out cigars when I was born, my dad handed out booze...Auntie Barb saved two of them for drinking on this very special day. Cheers, Auntie Barb!

Movie #8

8: Fargo

Jerry Lundegaard hires two men to kidnap his wife so he can get his rich father in law to pay the ransom of $1,000,000. Once the ransom is paid the kidnappers will get $40,000 and Jerry gets the rest. That's the plan, but what happens is something totally different. Blood is shed when a cop and two innocent people are killed. Marge Gunderson is the Chief who investigates the murders. While Marge investigates, Jerry gets involved in deeper problems, ranging from financial troubles, to threats from the kidnappers.

A hilarious dark comedy film that was brilliantly acted and brilliantly written. But you'd never know it from the summary...in fact, it was misclassified as a thriller in the local video store in Strathmore. I consider Frances McDormand as Margie to be the best performance by an actress that I’ve ever seen. It sure makes a lot of fun of people from Minnesota and their accent, but the Coen brothers are Minnesota natives, so I suppose it’s fair play. An interesting piece of trivia is that none of Jerry's stuttering mannerisms were ad-libbed...they're all written right into the screenplay (see for yourself!)

Imagine me going to see this movie at the age of 11 with my parents close to Christmas. Now THAT's funny! I guess my mom thought the idea of people laughing at this movie was horrible since she thought it was based on a true story, but that's just a ruse at the beginning of the film...it all came from the Coen brothers' imagination.

Fargo was nominated for seven Oscars including Best Picture and won two, including Best Actress for Frances McDormand. I still can't believe Fargo got beat out by that STUPID English Patient! I think that's a bigger crime than what took place in the movie!

Movie #11

EDIT: Sorry about getting the order all messed up...it happened when I forgot to change the date when I drafted this post...

11. Sideways

Miles Raymond, a failed writer and divorcé who teaches junior high school English takes his best friend, former hot actor Jack, on a weeklong drive up to California's wine country. There they explore the nature of their failures and question their relationships. Jack, about to get married, has an affair with a woman and wonders whether he should call off his wedding. Miles questions whether or not he made the right choice while trying to form a relationship with the woman's best friend, a fellow oenophile who is a waitress at a restaurant that he frequents often when visiting that part of the country.

It’s got a great screenplay (based on the novel by Rex Pickett) and I think if I knew how to read, I'd put that one on my reading list. I’ve heard a few people don’t like this movie because the characters are really unlikeable…I didn’t find that to be the case…I actually felt sorry for Miles, but it occurred to me that whether you liked or disliked the characters wasn’t really important. What’s even more astonishing is how this film is actually successful in juxtaposing a human life with a bottle of wine. But remember that despite how complex wine seems, beer is infinitely more complicated to make than wine. Always remember that. ;)

Sideways was nominated for five Oscars and won Best Screenplay Adaptation. But I find it really astonishing that even this could not beat that piece of shit Million Dollar Baby movie for Best Picture. The Academy's Clint Eastwood hard-on is showing and hopefully, it's really embarrassing.

Movie #9

9: Forrest Gump

The story follows the life of low I.Q. Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks) and his meeting with the love of his life Jenny. The film chronicles his accidental experiences with some of the most important people and events in America from the late 1950's through the 1970's including a meeting with Elvis Presley, JFK, Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, fighting in Vietnam, etc. The problem is, he's too stupid to realize the significance of his actions.

I believe that this movie will be remembered as an American classic 30 years after the fact. It represents a really great story involving elements of destiny and the American dream. Forrest becomes representative of the baby boomer generation having walked through life blindly. It represents a lot of important historical periods in the post-WWII American South almost as if they were seen through the eyes of a child. Also, on destiny: Forrest, according to Lieutenant Dan's definition of destiny, was doomed to be a retard who went to a special school and worked at Wal-Mart, but instead, he became so much more than that: College graduate, football star, war hero, national celebrity, millionaire, and father. But if you follow Mama's definition, you make your own destiny and nothing is ever set. The film doesn't make a definitive argument for either side, as there are a lot of things that happen to Forrest that he has no control over, so I guess it lets the viewers decide...

Forrest Gump was nominated for thirteen Oscars and won six including Tom Hanks' second consecutive Best Actor award and Best Picture. This is really a remarkable accomplishment considering this film had to go head-to-head with Pulp Fiction...

Movie #10

10: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

U.S. Air Force Colonel Jack Ripper goes completely and utterly mad, and sends his bomber wing to destroy the U.S.S.R. He suspects that the communists are conspiring to pollute the "precious bodily fluids" of the American people. The U.S. president meets with his advisors, where the Soviet ambassador tells him that if the U.S.S.R. is hit by nuclear weapons, it will trigger a "Doomsday Machine" which will destroy all plant and animal life on Earth. Peter Sellers portrays the three men who might avert this tragedy: British Group Captain Lionel Mandrake, the only person with access to the demented Gen. Ripper; U.S. President Merkin Muffley, whose best attempts to divert disaster depend on placating a drunken Soviet Permier and the former Nazi genius Dr. Strangelove, who concludes that "such a device would not be a practical deterrent for reasons which at this moment must be all too obvious". Will the bombers be stopped in time, or will General Jack Ripper succeed in destroying the world ?

Required viewing for anyone who is studying (or has studied) Cold War history and/or U.S./U.S.S.R. relations. It's an excellent satire on both. And what's funniest of all is that the book this is based on ("Red Alert") is actually a thriller...when Stanley Kubrick wrote the screenplay, he decided that some of the scenes were actually quite funny. I especially like the scenes where President Muffley is on the phone with Premier Kissoff and Gen. Turgidson's conflicts with the Russian ambassador.

Dr. Strangelove was nominated for four Oscars including Best Picture but didn't win shit.

Movie #12

12: Apocalypse Now

Burnt out Captain Willard is sent into the jungle with orders to find and kill Colonel Kurtz who has set up his own army within the jungle. As he descends into the jungle he is slowly over taken by the jungles mesmerizing powers and the battles and insanity which surround him. His crew succumbs to drugs and is slowly killed off one by one. As Willard continues his journey he becomes more and more like the man he was sent to kill.

This is such a great film, but was an unmitigated disaster to produce. Apparently Martin Sheen was so freaked out by this movie that he had a heart attack during filming. No wonder he's such a peacenik now (Team America, anyone?) Shooting was supposed to take six weeks but took sixteen months. Typhoons destroyed sets delaying production for four months. Marlon Brando showed up drunk and 40 kg overweight. He hadn't read Heart of Darkness (the Joseph Conrad novel the movie is loosely based on) or the script, and when he finally read the script, he refused to do it. He squabbled with Coppola over the lines and Coppola eventually got so fed up he turned the filming of Brando's scenes over to the assistant director. But the writing is excellent and the acting is superb, although some of it really isn't acting at all...Martin Sheen really was drunk in the opening scene and tried to attack Francis Ford Coppola, and I think Marlon Brando was really a lot like Kurtz, with his private island and all that.

Apocalypse Now was nominated for eight Oscars including Best Picture and won two. It also won the Palme D'Or...before the film was even finished.

Grey Cup 2005 and NFL Week 12

Well kids, it's like Christmas Eve...as I write this, only 18 hours until kickoff. I have a few thoughts on the game but my crystal ball has been clouded over by homerism and I can't see things too clearly. The key to the game for Edmonton is pass defence. If they can actually get their three man rush to work and put some pressure on Calvillo, game over. He's talented but he can't throw from his back or while scrambling franticly to get away from the defender. As for the Smos QB situation...if Ricky sticks to the underneath stuff and the short completions, he'll be fine, and they'll also control the time of possession. If he tries to be like Jason Maas and starts throwing the long ball...well, then Maciocia will just put in Jason Maas.

Who do I pick to win? Like I said, I can't see into my crystal ball, so I'm just going to go out on a limb and say the Smos win their 13th. I believe.

Also, I'm happy to report that since I called out MacTerrible for losing seven in a row, the Oilers have won 11 of their last 15. Mo has put up some impressive numbers...he's 4-0-0, his GAA is 1.48 and his save percentage is .939. Go Mo!

Now for week 12 of the NFL...I didn't put up the Thanksgiving games but those who subscribe to the picks by e-mail know that I picked Atlanta and Dallas, so 1-1 so far. Here's the rest:

Baltimore at CINCINNATI: Lock of the Week. Cincy looked good against the Colts and matched them stride for stride in the first half. I'm a little disappointed that the Nevermores needed OT to beat Tommy Gunn, so the Tigers win this one easily. Bengals by 14.

CAROLINA at Buffalo: Carolina had their win streak snapped by the Bears, and it revealed what a good pass defence can do to the Panties. Buffalo also has a good pass defence, and since this game is in Buffalo, it has upset written all over it. It's also supposed to snow in Buffalo. But I still don't think Buffalo's offence can put up enough against the Panties D. I'll throw in my generic prediction of Panties by 3.

Chicago at TAMPA BAY: Turnovers by the Falcons won the game for the Succaqueers whereas they were relatively error-free. Both teams can stop the run, so it'll be a contest of which quarterback sucks the least. I'm going to have to go with Chris Simms over Kyle Orton. I am aware that the Bears have won 6 in a row, but I don't think they can make it 7 in Tampa Bay, given their road record. Succaqueers by 3.

Cleveland at MINNESOTA: And just like that, the Vikings are 5-5. How'd this happen? Perhaps they CAN rely on their defence to score the points. I'm not really sure who to take here, so home team wins. Minny Winny by 3.

New England at KANSAS CITY: How low can it go? New England's pass defence, that is...it's now at #31! If Trent Green plays like he did last week the Pats don't stand a chance. The Pats might catch a break here since the Chiefs have a bad pass defence too, and this one will be all Brady vs. Green. Under any other circumstance, I'd take Brady in a second, but KC is just that good at home. Chiefs by 7.

SAN DIEGO at Washington: Truly unfortunate that a very good team in the AFC is going to be sitting at home watching the playoffs in January, and I've got a bad feeling it's going to be the Chargers. But they keep their hopes alive in this one...Washington has lost 9 in a row to AFC teams, this'll be number 10. Superchargers by 4.

San Francisco at TENNESSEE: If Air McNair has another game like he did last week, The squared sevens are in big trouble. But it really doesn't matter...San Fran is dead last in total offence and dead last in total defence. Flaming Thumbtacks by 10.

ST. LOUIS at Houston: What a season for Les Mouflons...Bulger goes down AGAIN. I still think Les Mouflons can beat the Moo Cows...if they don't, and Seattle wins, Seattle clinches the NFC West this Sunday, no joke! St. Louis lets the other team score 30 points on them on average, so look for the Moo Cows to finally get some scores. But in the end, it'll be Les Mouflons by 7.

JACKSONVILLE at Arizona: Looked like Jax really tried to give the Flaming Thumbtacks the game but fell just short. They take their number one pass defence to face a team that doesn't have a running game, so it's pretty easy to figure out what's going to happen. Jaguars by 7.

Miami at OAKLAND: I'm still wondering how the Marine Mammals could get shut out by the Browns...maybe it was the 67 yards passing, (perhaps I was wrong about Rosenfels...he sucks ass) but the running game should have been enough to seal the deal at least once. Oakland comes off a pretty monstrous win, handing the Skins their first loss at home. Miami's pass defence is about where it should be to limit the Raiders passing attack, and Oakland's got kind of a Falcons-like run defence, so this one's close anyway. Raiders by 3.

Green Bay at PHILADELPHIA: Green Bay looks like they've finally put an offence together, and it doesn't look like Philly can say the same about Mike McMahon just yet. This is where having about four running plays in the book comes back to haunt you. A loss here gives the Eagles the dubious distinction of being as bad as the Lions. And it's not just McNabb either...the loss of Lito Sheppard stings too. But since the Packers haven't won in Philly since 1962, I'm going to take a risk on this one. Eagles by 1.

NY Giants at SEATTLE: Seattle got to 8-2 by beating some pretty weak ass teams, but weak ass teams seems to be the story of the NFC West. They've already swept the Cards and Les Mouflons, and there's no doubt they'll get the next one against San Fran. But Jersey/A just doesn't have a good road record. Granted, their losses were to the Chargers and Cowboys, but Seattle's just as good of a team as they are. Seattle faces nothing but tough teams starting with this one, so they'll need to start this final stretch on a good note. Jersey/A's pass defence isn't good enough to stop Hasselbeck who's making a serious case for the Pro Bowl this year. Seahags by 3.

NEW ORLEANS at NY Jets: A couple of terrible teams here...someone's losing streak is going to end. The Aints win it because despite losing Deuce, they actually have quite a respectable running game. In terms of defence, they're both pretty much the same, but the Aints are leagues ahead of Jersey/B offensively. Aints by 7.

Pittsburgh at INDIANAPOLIS: The Colts sure had their way with the Bengals and made their 10th ranked pass defence look like the Strathmore Spartans. Thus, there is no doubt in my mind anymore that this is the team that'll win the Super Bowl. The Steelers have a pass defence that's ranked pretty close to the Bengals, so I'm expecting the same result as last week. I know it's dangerous to bet against Roethlisberger's regular season record, but if New England beat him, so can the Colts. Colts by 14.

Movie #13

13: Jurassic Park

On a remote island, a wealthy entrepreneur secretly creates a theme park featuring living dinosaurs drawn from prehistoric DNA. Before opening the attraction to the public, he invites a top paleontologist, a paleobotanist, a mathematician/theorist, and his two eager grandchildren to experience the park -- and help calm anxious investors. However, their park visit is anything but tranquil as the park's security system breaks down, the prehistoric creatures break out, and the excitement builds to surprising results.

Perhaps one of the greatest science fiction stories ever made. What makes it so good is that it's not a science fiction story that's set hundreds of years in the future...it takes place in the present day. When it came out in '93, it was my absolute favourite movie...I had all the toys, all the clothes, and all the cheap shit that had the Jurassic Park label attached to it. However, taking genetics classes has kind of spoiled it for me because it now seems far fetched that they'd be able to clone dinosaurs when a lot of cloning techniques and technology were pretty much brand new (heck, I don't see how they could have sequenced the genomes of 15 different dinosaur species to see the gene sequence gaps using 80's/early 90's computer technology.) Stupid learning...
Jurassic Park was nominated for three Oscars and won all three, including Best Sound, Best Sound Effects Editing and Best Visual Effects. Make no mistake, the special effects are still impressive to this day. Somebody correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it was one of the first movies to use CGI.

For some extra reading check out The Flubs of Jurassic Park. Especially check this picture out if you love crew/equipment visible as much as I do.

Movie #14

14. Back to the Future

Michael J. Fox stars as Marty McFly, a typical American teenager of the Eighties accidently sent back to 1955 in a plutonium-powered DeLorean "time machine" invented by slightly mad scientist Christopher Lloyd. During his often hysterical, always amazing trip back in time, Marty must make certain his teenage parents-to-be, Crispin Glover and Lea Thompson, meet and fall in love -- so he can get back to the future.

Back to the Future is pretty much the movie that defined the 80's...a Delorean and a soundtrack by Huey Lewis and the News...how could you go wrong? I like it because it combines science fiction with drama so well that it can't really be considered one or the other. I also have a bit of a soft spot for movies that have alternate realities or raise "what if?" scenarios, like how all the small things Marty changes in the past affect future events. And for the science fiction types, there's an endless discussion about time travel that you can have after watching this movie (like if time travel were possible, how come we haven't been flooded by visitors from the future, huh??) Plus, I think we've all wondered at one point what our parents were like in high school, what their interests were, and why they've changed.

The funny thing is I used to HATE this movie when I was four...it used to serve as my babysitter when I was over at one of my friend's house and I saw it so much that I got sick of it (plus I was four and really didn't understand what the hell was going on anyway...)

Back to the Future was nominated for four Oscars and won for Best Sound Effects Editing (woohoo.) Does anyone find it funny that Huey Lewis picked up a nomination for Best Song for "The Power of Love?" I sure do.

Movie #15

15. The Silence of the Lambs

Young FBI agent Clarice Starling is assigned to help find a missing woman to save her from a psychopathic serial killer who skins his victims. Clarice attempts to gain a better insight into the twisted mind of the killer by talking to another psychopath Hannibal Lecter, who used to be a respected psychiatrist. FBI agent Jack Crawford believes that Lecter who is also a very powerful and clever mind manipulator have the answers to their questions to help locate the killer. Clarice must first try and gain Lecter's confidence before he is to give away any information, and in order to do that, she must feed his morbid curiosity with details about her own complicated life.

This is up at #15 solely because of the acting, which was brilliant. For a psychological thriller such as this one to work, the characters have to really sell the story, which Jodi Foster and Anthony Hopkind do a fantastic job of. I think the fact that Lecter uses a ton of riddles is why the film messes with your mind. And I'm not just talking about the ones that Clarice figures out...For example, Lecter describes one of his sketches as "The Duomo, seen from the Belvedere," as a reference to Buffalo Bill's hometown of Belvedere, Ohio, and stresses "Simplicity" not only as an urging to keep things simple, but as a reference to the dress company Simplicity.

This was originally a sequel to Manhunter, which flopped so badly that the producer gave the rights to Silence of the Lambs to Orion for free (D'oh!)

The Silence of the Lambs won five Oscars, including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress (Foster) and Best Actor (Hopkins.) Note that Hopkins 16 minutes of on-screen time was the shortest to ever earn a leading actor Oscar.

And a little added note for all you CSI criminology types: Buffalo Bill is actually a hybrid of three serial killers: Ted Bundy, Ed Gein, and Gary Heidnick, and Hannibal Lecter is based on Albert Fish.

Movie #16

16. The Royal Tenenbaums

The Royal Tenenbaums revolves around Royal Tenenbaum (Gene Hackman), the errant patriarch of a dysfunctional family of geniuses, including precocious playwright Margot (Gwyneth Paltrow), boyish financier and grieving widower Chas (Ben Stiller), and has-been tennis pro Richie (Luke Wilson). All were raised with supportive detachment by mother Etheline (Anjelica Huston), and all ache profoundly for a togetherness they never really had. The Tenenbaums reconcile somehow, but only after Anderson and Wilson (who costars as a loopy literary celebrity) put them through a compassionate series of quirky confrontations and rekindled affections.

Wes Anderson's only done four films and he's already got a pretty large cult following. This one's like all his others, with dry subtle humour, a pretty bizarre blot, and Owen Wilson and Bill Murray. You really have to keep your eyes peeled in this one and notice the things like all the clothes, music, and vehicles are from the 70s (the characters are stuck in the era of their heyday), and that each character has a musical instrument corresponding to them (when we see Margot, we hear a harp). In any case, if you can appreciate all the small things in this movie, it's fall down funny. I think it would also be a good one for Mr. Truckey's English 30 class.

The Royal Tenenbaums was nominated for one Oscar (Original Screenplay) and did not win.

Movie #17

17: Rocky

Rocky Balboa is a struggling boxer trying to make the big time. Working in a meat factory in Philadelphia for a pittance, he also earns extra cash as a debt collector. When heavyweight champion Apollo Creed visits Philadelphia, his managers want to set up an exhibition match between Creed and a struggling boxer, touting the fight as a chance for a "nobody" to become a "somebody". The match is supposed to be easily won by Creed, but someone forgot to tell Rocky, who sees this as his only shot at the big time.

I like this movie because it isn't really about winning or losing...It's about determination, the unbreakable human spirit, and the willingness to "go the distance." Rocky explains to Adrian "Ah come on, Adrian, it's true. I was nobody. But that don't matter either, you know? 'Cause I was thinkin', it really don't matter if I lose this fight. It really don't matter if this guy opens my head, either. 'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood." Plus Rocky's got one of the greatest montages of all time (running up the museum stairs to "Gonna Fly Now.)

Rocky was nominated for ten Oscars and won three, including Best Picture.

And it better not be true what they're saying about a sixth movie...

Movie #18

18: The Big Lebowski

And The Dude just wanted his rug back. This is one that you really have to follow and watch over and over again to fully appreciate. Quite a few lines are repeated throughout the movie (for example, George Bush is seen on TV saying "This aggression will not stand," and The Dude later repeats this to the Big Lebowski, and "That rug really tied the room together...") It's classic Coen Brothers writing, using a lot of dark comedy. There are a ton of great quotes from this one, so I'll just share a few of my favourites.
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[Maude shows the porn video starring Bunny to the Dude]
Sherry in 'Logjammin': [on video] You must be here to fix the cable.
Maude: Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.
The Dude: He fixes the cable?
-----------------------------------------
The Dude: What's in the fuckin' carrier?
Walter Sobchak: Huh? Oh, that's Cynthia's dog. I think it's a Pomeranian. I can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture. I'm watching him while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.
The Dude: You brought the fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?
Walter Sobchak: What do you mean brought it bowling, Dude? I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a fucking beer. He's not taking your fucking turn, Dude.
The Dude: Man, if my fuckin' ex-wife asked me to take care of her fuckin' dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu I'd tell her to go fuck herself.
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Younger Cop: And was there anything of value in the car?
The Dude: Oh, uh, yeah, uh... a tape deck, some Creedence tapes, and there was a, uh... uh, my briefcase. Younger Cop: [expectant pause] In the briefcase?
The Dude: Uh, uh, papers, um, just papers, uh, you know, uh, my papers, business papers.
Younger Cop: And what do you do, sir?
The Dude: I'm unemployed.
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Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski is the ultimate LA slacker, until one day his house is broken into and his rug is peed on by two angry gangsters who have mistaken him for Jeffrey Lebowski, the LA millionaire, whose wife owes some bad people some big money. The Dude becomes entangled in the plot when he goes to visit the real Lebowski in order to get some retribution for his soiled rug, and is recruited to be the liason between Lebowski and the captors of his now "kidnapped" wife.

The Big Lebowski was nominated for no Oscars, and I think I can understand why. It was nominated for a bunch of European shit, and won Best Foreign Film as decided by the Russian Guild of Film Critics. Those Russians have great taste in movies, I must say.

NFL Week 11

Alright, we've finally hit the 16 game schedule! But only two extra games and it seems like these damn picks are taking forever...I was 10-4 last week, and I am 87-57 on the season.

Arizona at ST. LOUIS: Mexico City looks like they're getting Anquan Boldin back, and with Kurt Warner back at QB, the Mexico City passing attack may be able to do some damage. But the Rams have an even better passing offence, plus some kind of running game. The Eagles are no longer last in rushing...the Cardinals and their 38 rushing yards last week have taken over that title. The Rams are 30th in total defence, and Mexico City hasn't won on the road yet. Les Mouflons by 6.

CAROLINA at Chicago: Oh cripes, do you take the team that's won 5 in a row or do you take the team that's won 6 in a row? Do you take the team that's 4-1 at home or the team that's 3-1 on the road? Looking at the stats, Carolina has the answer to Chicago's rushing attack, but Chicago's got the answer to the Panties' passing attack. The Panties have a much better total offence though. There's also more on the line for the Panties...the Bears will win the division easily and they know it. I'll take the Panties by 3.

Detroit at DALLAS: Imagine my surprise when that Dallas receiver with the 58 yard catch happened to be Peerless! Other than that, the Boys' offence didn't have a productive night at all in Philly. Detroit actually has a better defence than Philly, but I can't say no to the Boys at home. Cowboys by 10.

JACKSONVILLE at Tennessee: I think last week's shellacking of the Ravens answered any questions about the Jaguars offence. And little known fact...who now has the number one pass defence? The Jags do! Flaming Thumbtacks have lost 4 in a row, better make it 5. Jaguars by 7.

MIAMI at Cleveland: If Sage Rosenfels plays, it's not the end of the world...he did pretty well for himself in the pre-season, putting up a 103.8 rating with the second team offence, and all he'll have to do in this one is hand the ball off. The Marine Mammals had last week's game well within reach, but they did the ridiculous play-calling thing again...1st and goal at the Pats 5, 2:47 left in the game, 3 timeouts left, down by 7. Four straight passing plays, three incompletions and a completion to Ronnie for a loss, game over. Granted, ol' Gus Gus had thrown for 360 yards at that point, but Ronnie had been averaging 4.5 yards a carry...I think he could have gotten in with 4 tries at it. They will have to use Ronnie and Ricky a lot more to win this game. Marine Mammals by 7.

New Orleans at NEW ENGLAND: So we've all seen this before...the Aints at 2-7 (actually, it was 2-8 last year) and they clawed their way back up to .500. It could happen again, but it would be a bad idea...they should be playing for good draft picks now. The Patriots scoring defence is almost as bad as the Saints (New England allows 26.2 points a game), so take the Aints to beat the spread. Patriots by 7.

Oakland at WASHINGTON: I'm not too sure on this one...Mark Brunell has been struggling lately. However, Washington is still perfect at home, so that's what I'll go with. Washington also has the 9th ranked pass defence and should be able to outgain the Raiders on offence no problem. Redskins by 7.

Philadelphia at NY GIANTS: Easy pick for Roy Williams, touchdown, and the Eagles are on their first losing streak in a long time. Jersey/A took a bad one against the Vikings, but at least one of the Jersey/A guys got to hit Mike Tice (which was really funny, by the way.) Seems that when it looks like Jersey/A has everything working for them, something goes to shit (in this case, special teams coverage!) Their D played really well again, holding the Vikings offence to 3 points and 156 total yards. Plus, the Eagles are sans McNabb, so looks like this losing streak goes to 4 games. Jersey/A by 7.

Pittsburgh at BALTIMORE: Pepto Bismol Upset of the Week. Roethlisberger probably won't make it for this one, and Tommy Gunn can't beat Baltimore's D. The Nevermores keep beating themselves with their low voltage offence, so it'll be interesting anyway. Nevermores by 3.

Tampa Bay at ATLANTA: Turnovers cost the Falcons big time against the Packers, not to mention their pass defence wasn't up to the challenge. It's going to be hard to justify picking the Falcons after that, especially since they let a running back that nobody's ever heard of run all over them last week and now they've got to face Cadillac. On the plus side, Vick's passer rating is slowly improving, and he's situated below little Manning, but above Trent Dildo. As for Tampa, the "Dick Vermeil Iron Balls Award" for week 10 goes to Jon Gruden, for being down 35-28, with 58 seconds left, scoring a TD and going for two, resulting in a 36-35 win for the Succaqueers. I could hardly believe what I was seeing. Also, I'm taking into account Jimmy Jr.'s 5-1 record following a loss, and I can't see the Falcons losing back to back in the Dome. Falcons by 1 (the spread is 6! If you play point spread, take Tampa! Not me though, I make it a habit never to bet against the birds.)

SEATTLE at San Francisco: Lock of the Week. Dangerous business picking a road team as the lock, especially if that road team is Seattle, and given how the Squared Sevens seem to be playing 3 good quarters of football lately, but I'm still going to have to go with the number one offence against the number thirty-two defence. Seahawks by 28.

Buffalo at SAN DIEGO: Jeez, JP Losman takes over and lights it up, didn't see that one coming. Losman gets the start this week, obviously. This will be a tougher one for the Bills since San Diego's got quite the offence. This one will be all LaDainian, as usual, but Drew Brees could screw this up for them if he gets picked off 3 times like Trent Green. Superchargers by 14.

INDIANAPOLIS at Cincinnati: Game of the week! If the Colts are going to lose at all before they've got things wrapped up in the AFC and are resting their starters, it's going to be this one. I think that Cincy's D will be able to pick off a Peyton wobbler or two, I'm just not so sure Carson's up to the challenge against Indy's defence. Colts by 7.

NY Jets at DENVER: Pretty easy pick here, the Broncos are 7-2 and Jersey/B is 2-7. Denver's D still allows a ton of yards, but are pretty stingy with the points. The Broncos #2 rushing offence will run all over the Jets #29 rush defence. I agree with Indian...Jets will beat the spread, but barely. Broncos by 13.

KANSAS CITY at Houston: The Cow Skulls have a better pass defence than the Chiefs, but I still don't think that offence can produce enough to get the win. This one's up to Larry Johnson cutting up that #32 ranked run defence. Chiefs by 14.

Minnesota at GREEN BAY: Two teams who have been sucking slough water the whole season and they both got wins last week. So it makes it all the more difficult. I just can't pick the Vikings after their offence played so poorly, and they can't rely on their special teams and defence to always score the points. If Green Bay's special teams coverage is up to the task, and the offence can keep the turnovers under control, they'll win this one easily. Packers by 10.

Movie #19

19. Annie Hall

What can I say about Woody Allen movies? Some people love them, some people loathe them, and others would like them if that nervous fella wasn't always in them. A lot of people would characterize Annie Hall as the best Woody Allen flick, even though Woody basically plays himself in it (and every other movie since then, come to think of it.) I thought the way he wrote the relationship between Alvy and Annie was brilliant, and so was his entire spin on relationships, that "they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs." I suppose if you haven't seen the movie, that makes no sense, but that's just one of many great lines in it.

Annie Hall is one of the truest, most bittersweet romances on film. In it, Allen plays a thinly disguised version of himself: Alvy Singer, a successful--if neurotic--television comedian living in Manhattan. Annie (the wholesomely luminous Dianne Keaton) is a Midwestern transplant who dabbles in photography and sings in small clubs. When the two meet, the sparks are immediate--if repressed. The relationship arcs, as does Annie's growing desire for independence. It quickly becomes clear that the two are on separate tracks, as what was once endearing becomes annoying. Annie Hall embraces Allen's central themes--his love affair with New York (and hatred of Los Angeles), how impossible relationships are, and his fear of death. But their balance is just right, the chemistry between Allen's worry-wart Alvy and Keaton's gangly, loopy Annie is one of the screen's best pairings.

Annie Hall was nominated for five Oscars and won four, including Best Picture.

Movie #20

20: The Godfather Part II

Some people say this was better than the original. Some people say this was the best sequel ever made. Even though I am illiterate, I actually read this book when I was in Grade 9 (or maybe somebody read it to me, I can't remember, but that would make more sense.) This was Robert DeNiro's breakout performance...it's great to go back and watch all his stuff from the 70s and 80s, you know...back when he was cool and stomped people's guts out in every show and didn't resort to being in movies like Analyze This and Meet the Parents. The scenes in Cuba really drag, but the Vito Corleone flashback scenes more than make up for it.

Francis Ford Coppola took some of the deep background from the life of Mafia chief Vito Corleone and built around it a stunning sequel to his Oscar-winning, 1972 hit film. Robert De Niro plays Vito as a young Sicilian immigrant in turn-of-the-century New York City's Little Italy. Coppola weaves in and out of the story of Vito's transformation into a powerful crime figure, contrasting that evolution against efforts by son Michael Corleone to spread the family's business into pre-Castro Cuba.

The Godfather Part II was nominated for eleven Oscars and won six, including Best Picture and Best Supporting Actor (Robert DeNiro).

Movie #21

21. Fight Club

Fight Club is one of those movies that is so messed up, you have to see it twice. It's not that the plot is hard to follow, it's just that the ending kind of leaves you scratching your head the first time you see it, and you need to go back to make sense of it all. I found out there's actually a word for this kind of movie: Neo Noir. Some other examples include Pulp Fiction, Memento, Sin City, The Game, and Se7en (The Game and Se7en were also directed by David Fincher.) But once you've figured it all out and can put all the pieces together, it's just...wow.

Edward Norton is the unnamed protagonist, a man going through life on cruise control, feeling nothing. To fill his hours, he begins attending support groups and 12-step meetings. True, he isn't actually afflicted with the problems, but he finds solace in the groups. This is destroyed, however, when he meets Marla (Helena Bonham Carter), also faking her way through groups. Spiraling back into insomnia, Norton finds his life is changed once again, by a chance encounter with Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt), whose forthright style and no-nonsense way of taking what he wants appeal to our narrator. Tyler and the protagonist find a new way to feel release: they fight. They fight each other, and then as others are attracted to their ways, they fight the men who come to join their newly formed Fight Club. Marla begins a destructive affair with Tyler, and things fly out of control, as Fight Club grows into a nationwide fascist group that escapes the protagonist's control.

Fight Club was nominated for one Oscar (Best Sound Effects Editing, big friggin' deal) and didn't win. It's kind of surprising because the Academy seems to really like movies that incorporate elements of film noir, probably because they are beyond the understanding of the general movie-going public, and the Academy wants to look smart, even if the movie made no sense at all (i.e. Mulholland Drive) If it's film noir, it must be brilliant!!

Movie #22

22. Trainspotting

A wild, freeform, Rabelaisian trip through the darkest recesses of Edinburgh low-life, focusing on Mark Renton and his attempt to give up his heroin habit, and how the latter affects his relationship with family and friends: Sean Connery wannabe Sick Boy, dimbulb Spud, psycho Begbie, 14-year-old girlfriend Diane, and clean-cut athlete Tommy, who's never touched drugs but can't help being curious about them...

This is a good film, once you're able to understand just what the hell the characters are saying. In fact, the first twenty minutes of the movie had to be re-dubbed to make the Scottish accents more intelligible. And it's not even possible to just read the book to figure things out, because it's written using all that slang too (do they even speak english in Scotland??) Clockwork Orange was the same way, but we'll get to that in a few days...A lot of the hardcore drug scenes are difficult to stomach, the rehab scene is downright freaky, but it's still a really good story. Comes with some good quotes too, like the "Choose life" speech, and

Sick Boy: Personality, I mean that's what counts, right? That's what keeps a relationship going through the years. Like heroin, I mean heroin's got a great fucking personality.
------------------
Begbie: That lassie got glassed, and no cunt leaves here till we find out what cunt did it.
Man: [shouts] Who the fuck are you?
Begbie: Yesss! [kicks him in the crotch]

Okay, I guess you need to actually watch the movie to get this dry British stuff...

This film received one Oscar nomination for Best Screenplay, Screenplay Based on Material from Another Medium and didn't win.

Mike Vick Vick Vick...

...Vick Vick Vick Vick Vick. I ventured on over to his website and discovered this Nike commercial for the first time. Lance Armstrong boxes, Marion Jones does gymnastics, Randy Johnson bowls, Andre Agassi plays for the Red Sox, and Brian Urlacher and Mike Vick play for the 'Lanche. Frickin funny stuff.

Movie #23

23. Pulp Fiction

This is definitely the best Quentin Tarantino film ever made, and some movie critics will even go so far as to say it's the best movie ever made. It would have been a lock to win Best Picture of 1994 had it not been for Forrest Gump. And I think the funniest part is that my parents went to go see this for their 12th wedding anniversary...how romantic. This classic comes with a fair chunk of memorable quotes such as:

Jules: Hamburgers. The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.
-----------------
Jules: Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?
Brett: No.
Jules: Tell him, Vincent.
Vincent: Royale with cheese.
Jules: Royale with cheese. Do you know why they call it a Royale with cheese?
Brett: Because of the metric system?
Jules: Check out the big brain on Brett. You one smart motherfucker.
------------------
Captain Koons: The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any of the slopes were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.

Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) and Vincent (John Travolta) work as hitmen for crime boss Marcellus Wallace (Ving Rhames). Wallace is currently dealing with Butch Collidge (Bruce Willis), a boxer who failed to throw a fight after taking Wallace's money and is now planning to flee the city, but can't leave his father's watch behind. Vincent faces some problems of his own when Wallace asks him to show his wife Mia (Uma Thurman) a good time while he's away. Some of these people redeem themselves and some don't, and all meet an end appropriate to their choices.

Pulp Fiction was nominated for seven Oscars including Best Picture, and won for Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen (Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary.) It also won the Palme D'Or at the Cannes Film Festival, but that doesn't mean anything anymore if something like Fahrenheit 9/11 can win it. Incidentally, Tarantino was the President of the jury for the 2004 Cannes...so just what the hell does he know about movies??

Movie #24

24. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

Return of the King is up here mainly because I liked all three of the movies, but I decided on this one to put in the top 25. I didn't even read the books (I can't read) and I normally don't even like all the fantasy mantra of elves and wizards and fairies and shit. I think that it was very well written (although it could have ended in about 8 different places...) and I'm a sucker for the cool battle scenes and special effects.

We join the story with Huck Finn and Mikey continuing their search for One-Eyed Willie and the fires of Mount Doom to destroy the ring and bring peace to Middle Earth, while Gollum tries to lead them into a trap. While this is going on, Aragorn tries to realize his true identity and purpose as the King of Men, and journeys with Legolas and Sallah to summon the Army of the Dead so that the battle against evil can be won.

This film was nominated for 11 Academy Awards and won all 11, including Best Picture.

My Top 25 Movies of All Time

There are only 25 days until the end of classes for the fall semester. So what I'm going to do is make a post about one movie every day until we get to my #1 movie of all time, and the end of classes.

But before I get to that, I'll just say a quick word about my weekend in Strathmore. When we got in on Thursday night, Blobra and I went out to Boston Pizza with Blobra's dad Chucky and my dad. After a couple of beers, we went over to the liquor store and I got a bottle of $9.99 Cabernet Sauvignon and Blobra got a mickey of Southern Comfort and we drank at my house until 4 AM. Blobra passed out at my kitchen table. On Saturday, Blobra and I drove to Cochrane to see the Spartans in the Tier III State quarter-final and they lost 63-7. Spartans fans are all class, the way they scream at the refs, talk trash about the other team, yell at the refs, and even yell at the frickin announcer when he doesn't get a name right. Like I said, 100% class, every single one. On Sunday, I watched the second worst Falcons game I've ever seen (the 56-10 loss to KC last season was worse...I didn't even make it through 1 quarter of that thing...) and after the birds lost, I couldn't muster up the courage to watch the Smos vs. Stamps. I ended up listening to the 4th quarter on the radio and wow, what a comeback! It was a miracle the Smos won, but the Stamps turned the ball over 6 times and it's very hard to win when you're doing that. I had to laugh at the chumps on the post-game show. They started by saying "the Esks were completely outplayed and [were] dominated in all facets of the game." They then tore into Eskimo management for having exceeded the salary cap "every year by millions and millions" and called them the "Yankimos." They then cut into Ricky Ray and said that "he wasn't worth half a million a year but that's just chump change to the Eskimos." Of course, they failed to note the Stamps were reportedly around a million over this year. Funny how that slips, huh? And then they closed out the evening by calling the Eskimo fans "idiots" and then added that he was adopting the motto "Go Lions Go" for next week. I forgot how much I missed Calgary media for sheer entertainment value.

Anyway, that's enough about that, and here we go with movie #25.

25. A Few Good Men

You can’t handle the truth! I find it particularly funny that Tom Cruise busts his ass on screen for 2 hours and Jack Nicholson does a 20 minute bit and walks away with the picture. That’s what I call acting! For the longest time, I had no idea this was originally a play that premiered in 1989, and that it was written by Aaron Sorkin of West Wing fame.

In this courtroom thriller, Lt. Daniel Kaffee (Tom Cruise), a Navy lawyer who has never seen the inside of the courtroom, defends two stubborn Marines (Wolfgang Bodison and James Marshall) who have been accused of murdering a colleague. He (Cruise) is known as being lazy and had arranged for a plea bargain. Downey's (Marshall) Aunt Ginny appoints Cmdr. Galloway (Demi Moore) to represent him. Also on the legal staff is Lt. Sam Weinberg (Kevin Pollak). The defense is originally based upon the fact that PFC Santiago, the victim, was given a "CODE RED". Santiago was basically a screw-up. At Gitmo, screw-ups aren't tolerated. Especially by Col. Nathan Jessup (Jack Nicholson). In Cuba, Jessup and two senior officers (J.T. Walsh and Kiefer Sutherland) try to give all the help they can, but Kaffee knows something's fishy.

The film was nominated for four Oscars including Best Picture, but didn't win a thing.

NFL Mid-Season Team-by-Team Review

Can you believe it? The NFL season is half over already with every team having played at least 8 games. So here are my predictions for the finishing records of each team. I won't be able to blog about my NFL picks for Week 10, so hopefully, this makes up for it.

I'll start with my favourite conference: The NFC:

NFC EAST

NEW YORK GIANTS: If the Giants can play good defence like they have in recent games, they'll be able to walk away with this division and the NFC. The rest of their schedule is not easy at all, but with Philly not looking very impressive, it looks like clear sailing for the G-Men.
Predicted finish: 13-3

DALLAS COWBOYS: The Boys are certainly a good team, but they need to get Julius Jones back very quickly and hope he stays healthy for the rest of the season. They'll also win a lot of games if we don't see anymore of the "vintage Bledsoe" that we saw in Seattle. They get the second wildcard spot with a better divisional record than the Skins.
Predicted finish: 10-6

WASHINGTON REDSKINS: They haven't been a good team up to this point...they've committed some pretty dumb mistakes, but if their offence keeps firing on all cylinders, they'll finish at least .500.
Predicted finish: 10-6

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: A lot of people say the Eagles season is over after suspending T.O. but people forget that the Eagles made the NFC Championship game twice before without him (they just never won it) Me, I'm not so sure they'll make it that far with a banged-up quarterback and no running game.
Predicted finish: 9-7

NFC SOUTH

CAROLINA PANTHERS: The Panties can finish with an impressive record if Steve Smith can keep scorching secondaries and if their run defence keeps playing as well as it has (they allow only 70 yards a game on the ground.) They've now won 12 of their last 16 regular season games.
Predicted finish: 13-3

ATLANTA FALCONS: They haven't been an impressive team in the statistics (except for rushing stats...wow...) but they seem to always find a way to win. They've lost both their games by a combined 6 points, and these were both games where Vick had to leave due to injury. If he stays healthy, they can make a serious case for repeating as NFC South Champion, but Carolina's run defence is just too good. I see them splitting with the Panties and the Sucs, and I've got a bad feeling about that Chicago game for some reason...
Predicted finish: 11-5

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS: A season full of promise went down along with Brian Griese. Their defence is starting to show some cracks, and Tim Rattay is not the man to lead this team into the playoffs. Cadillac Williams may make a case for rookie of the year, but it's not going to work once teams start stacking the box against the Bucs.
Predicted finish: 8-8

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS: Nobody said it was going to be easy playing all of their games on the road, but injuries and the ever-controversial owner Tom Benson just add to the misery.
Predicted finish: 4-12

NFC WEST

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: This team is playing like they want to finish first in the NFC. They're a complete team on both sides of the ball, they're first in total offence, and they would finish first if they didn't have to play so many good teams in the last half of the season.
Predicted finish: 10-6

ST. LOUIS RAMS: Right behind the Seahawks in the total offence category are the Rams. Unfortunately for the Rams, a .500 season won't be good enough to get them into the playoffs. They are quite good offensively when Marc Bulger and Torry Holt are in, but again this year, their defence will hold them back from greatness.
Predicted finish: 8-8

ARIZONA CARDINALS: The Cardinals are once again up to their game of playing musical quarterbacks. Unfortunately, there goes Anquan Boldin, so it looks like Larry Fitzgerald will be double-teamed for the rest of the season, which shuts down their only offensive attack. On the plus side, Neil Rackers will probably break the field goal record this season.
Predicted finish: 5-11

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS: Every win with this 49ers team is an upset. They need to get somebody for Alex Smith to throw to, and a half-decent running back, and get pretty much a whole new defence...it'll be an interesting draft and free agent season for them, to say the least.
Predicted finish: 3-13

NFC NORTH

CHICAGO BEARS: Holy crap, the Bears have won 4 in a row! They are a quarterback away from being a Super Bowl contender, no joke! Their running game is solid, their defence (run and pass) is exceptional...all they need is someone to throw to Muhammed. They're going to walk away with the crappy, crappy NFC North.
Predicted finish: 10-6

DETROIT LIONS: The Lions receivers have not panned out, and they should give up on Joey Harrington. They'll have more success if they stick to Jeff Garcia (I never thought I'd say that.)
Predicted finish: 6-10

GREEN BAY PACKERS: The Packers have been decimated by injuries. They're 1-7, yet they have outscored their opponents (168 points for, 159 against). It's really a shame because Favre is doing all that he can do and they're still losing all these games.
Predicted finish: 4-12

MINNESOTA VIKINGS: So much for my first place NFC team. Look up disappointment in the dictionary, and you'll see the overrated, oversexed Minnesota Vikings. Brad Johnson isn't going to lead them to a lot of wins (I believe he's washed up) and their defence has this bad tendency of giving up and allowing big plays. Look for Mike Tice this spring in an unemployment line near you.
Predicted finish: 3-13

Okay, so we've sorted out the standings, how about some playoff predictions for shits and giggles?

(6) Dallas vs. (3) Seattle: SEAHAWKS
(5) Atlanta vs. (4) Detroit: FALCONS

(5) Atlanta vs. (1) NY Giants: BUCCANEERS
(3) Seattle vs. (2) Carolina: SEAHAWKS

(2) Seattle vs. (1) NY Giants: GIANTS

Now if that wasn't enough, there are still 16 more teams to go!

AFC EAST

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS: I know 11-5 will be hard to believe for a team with a lack of a defence, but they've got 5 more games against AFC East teams, and 2 more against NFC South teams (Bucs and Aints) which is why I can see them finishing that strong.
Predicted finish: 11-5

MIAMI DOLPHINS: The Dolphins get to play several bad teams in this half of the season, so they should finish strong. If the Ricky Williams/Ronnie Brown tandem starts to work effectively, they'll win in a few blowouts
Predicted finish: 8-8

NEW YORK JETS: There are just too many quarterback woes for this team, and despite that, they hardly ever hand the ball off to Curtis Martin. I think their abandonment of the running game when they get behind has cost them two wins so far. Until angry Herm Edwards learns, it's going to keep costing them wins.
Predicted finish: 4-12

BUFFALO BILLS: I know that my predicted finish isn't very generous, but it's just hard to get excited about this team which has been pulled apart by injuries to the defence, and an O-Line that can't block for Willis McGahee, or Kelly Holcomb.
Predicted finish: 3-13

AFC SOUTH

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS: By far the best team in the NFL...they're going to run away with the AFC South and most likely, they'll have the AFC wrapped up by week 15. In the offseason, they basically solved all the problems plaguing their defence (which lost them 4 games last season.) If the Colts are ever going to make it to the promised land, this is the year.
Predicted finish: 15-1

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS: This team has a lot of potential, and if Byron Leftwich can make improvements, they'll make the playoffs. Fred Taylor's been frustratingly inconsistent though.
Predicted finish: 10-6

TENNESSEE TITANS: This team is a real mystery to me...where is former co-MVP Steve McNair, and who is this guy who keeps throwing TD passes to the other team? Anyway, it'll be the same old same old for the Titans, who never seem to make adjustments in the offseason.
Predicted finish: 4-12

HOUSTON TEXANS: At the end of the season, the Texans will have broken the sack record and scored the least points on offence. They should probably trade their 1st overall pick for linemen, and rebuild their entire defence.
Predicted finish: 1-15

AFC WEST

DENVER BRONCOS: Broncos have a dominant running game, receivers who can catch, but a lack of pass defence. But that doesn't matter when their opponents can march the length of the field and settle for 3.
Predicted finish: 12-4

SAN DIEGO CHARGERS: Chargers seem to like making games more exciting than they really need to be. They could have a much better record than they do right now, but enjoy snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. They'll make the playoffs despite this, with a better conference record than Jacksonville.
Predicted finish: 10-6

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS: I'm hearing Priest Holmes retirement rumours swirling around...this would effectively end the Chiefs' playoff hopes. Their passing game has got to be better, and they have got to start playing better pass defence (ranked 31st in the league)
Predicted finish: 9-7

OAKLAND RAIDERS: They're a pretty good team, but they have had injury problems in their secondary. I know with Cocaine Collins and Randy Moss the temptation is to throw the ball a lot, but I think they have not been using Lamont Jordan as much as they should.
Predicted finish: 8-8

AFC NORTH

PITTSBURGH STEELERS: Roethlisberger's a winner, except against New England, which is more the fault of the Steelers defence. But if they can scrape by without anymore injuries, I think this predicted finish is very realistic.
Predicted finish: 13-3

CINCINNATI BENGALS: I think Carson Palmer's going to be one of the NFL's elite quarterbacks. His rating is sky high this year, where is last year, it was Mike Vick-like. The Bengals defence also leads the league in picks.
Predicted finish: 11-5

BALTIMORE RAVENS: The Ravens offence is really holding them back, especially Jamal Lewis, who has been nothing but disappointing since he got out of jail. Still, their defence is stacked, and they should be holding other teams without very many points. This will steal them some more wins in the second half of the season.
Predicted finish: 7-9

CLEVELAND BROWNS: They're near the top of the heap in scoring defence, but right near the bottom for scoring offence. I think they should consider trading up to get Matt Leinart.
Predicted finish: 5-11

Playoffs:

(6) San Diego vs. (3) Denver: BRONCOS
(5) Cincinnati vs. (4) New England: BENGALS

(5) Cincinnati vs. (1) Indianapolis: COLTS
(3) Denver vs. (2) Pittsburgh: BRONCOS

(3) Denver vs. (1) Indianapolis: COLTS

So that makes an Indianapolis vs. NY Giants Super Bowl. I won't predict a winner for this one though...make your own conclusion!

So, in light of yesterday's shellacking...

...and I don't mean the Falcons, they actually won...I mean the Eskijokes. But it begs the question: Do you ever wish you weren't a sports fan? Or maybe not so hardcore? Do you ever stress out when your teams is losing? It can't be undone, it's far too ingrained in my psyche, but sometimes I wish I wasn't such a fan because the stress levels in my life would plummet. Seriously. It's worth being hardcore when your team wins, but it's really hard when they lose. It usually takes me a few hours to remember "It's just a GAME".

Anyway, it must have been hard for poor Weeds to sit there and take it, sober as a judge. By the way, lady, as of the time I wrote this, your beer is still sitting next to the couch, waiting for you to drink it...

"Today I quit my job..."

"...then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for over $60,000! Pass the asparagus..."

Okay, so that's a quote from American Beauty. My dad quit his job recently, but he didn't exactly do it like how Lester did. And he's not working at Mr. Smiley's either. No, he got a job at Canyon Creek Food Company Ltd. There's only one hitch though...it's in Edmonton.

So that of course raises a lot of issues, and despite the fact that I haven't lived with them for over 3 years, it does affect me. The first and most obvious question is am I going to live with them again? I'd like to avoid that if possible, but if I decide to pursue more (expensive) flying training, I'm going to need to save money, and living with them would help. On the other hand, I like the house I'm in now, and I like being independent and taking care of myself. The second question is am I going to lose my car? My dad's going to have to give back his company van from his previous job, and this means the family will be short one vehicle. The car is legally mine, but previously belonged to my parents. But I've already been assured that they won't do this (although I'd like to have it in writing.) The third and probably most irrelevant question is where in the city are they going to live? Nobody's really sure...my Auntie Barb is making a pitch for them to live in the west end; my Grandma, the north end; my dad, a house in the southeast; my mom, a condo downtown; and me, the Park (but it's really none of my business anyway)

Anyway, I probably shouldn't be worried about any of this, but I've already got plenty of uncertainty about the future coming my way starting in May 2006, so this just adds to it all.

NFL Week 9

I've been waiting for a while to dig these out...it might describe how Eagles fans feel after losing 49-21 to the Broncos, but they were actually taken during last January's Super Bowl. I especially like the lady who's drinking right from the pitcher. Poor lady...




I don't like the looks of this week...Clearly, I haven't learned the dangers of picking too many road teams, so I feel a 2-12 week coming on here...Let's hope Weeds' strategy of always picking the favourite works here...

ATLANTA at Miami: The Marine Mammals were in the shitter losing 3 in a row before they were lucky enough to encounter a REALLY crappy team on the Week 8 schedule. The Dolphins will be looking to keep their gameplan against the Aints for this one...just run the ball against that awful run defence. The Dolphins would win this one if their run defence wasn't just as bad as Atlanta's, and if Atlanta wasn't first in rushing yards (TJ Duckett should be back in this game.) I'd like to remind everyone of what happened the last time the Fish faced a rushing tandem of the same calibre as this one...Larry and Priest churned up 183 yards and 3 TDs on the ground. Besides, there's only one player left on the Falcons with bad Super Bowl memories from Dolphins Stadium (Keith Brooking) Falcons by 14.

CAROLINA at Tampa Bay: The Panties swept the Sucs last season, and with Tampa Bay's current quarterback situation, I think this one's fairly obvious. And Tampa Bay lost to the 49ers...that's embarrassing! (I love it!) The only thing is the Succaqueers are unbeaten at home, so I'll throw in my usual Panties by 3 prediction, but I'll be cheering for a tie (or for Raymond James Stadium to collapse, whichever happens first.)

CINCINNATI at Baltimore: I also think this is going to be a close one...Cincinnati got 5 picks from Favre and still only won by 7. As we all know, the Nevermores have a great defence, but the Bengals actually allow fewer points per game. The Bengals will also need this one if they want to keep their lead on the Steelers and have a hope of winning the division (they have some tough games coming up in the second half of the season) Bengals by 3.

DETROIT at Minnesota: So, does the loss of Culpepper make Minnesota better? Possibly, (after all, Brad Johnson has a Super Bowl ring!) but I think it's more the pass defence's fault...overpaid, overrated Fred Smoot was scorched by Steve Smith for 201 yards last week! Lions by 14.

Houston at JACKSONVILLE: The Jags are 7th in total defence, I think the Cow Skulls' offence is going to be frustrated all day. However, Davis will be the reason why the Texans don't go 3 and out every time...the Jags don't have a very good run defence. Jags by 10.

Oakland at KANSAS CITY: KC is terrible against the pass (31st, right there ahead of the 49ers) but we'll see if injuries to Oakland's defence have made them just as bad. I predict big games for both quarterbacks. As far as running game, the Chiefs are sans Priest, which stops me from predicting a blowout for KC. Chiefs by 3.

SAN DIEGO at NY Jets: I don't think I have to point out that the Chargers are way better than their record. And LaDainian has thrown for as many touchdowns (3) as all Jersey/B quarterbacks put together this season. Superchargers by 10.

TENNESSEE at Cleveland: Two horrible teams, only one can lose. I don't think Drunk Driving Droughns will be able to have much of a game against the Titans D. If the Titans are going to do this, they're going to have to run the ball...the Browns allow 133 yards a game on the ground. Titans have allowed a league worst 17 passing TDs, but Trent Dildo has only thrown for 7 himself. Flaming Thumbtacks by 3.

CHICAGO at New Orleans: Chicago is riding a three game win streak, and New Orleans is riding a 4 game losing streak. Thomas Jones should also be able to run the ball right down their throats. Bears by 14, in a 14-0 game.

NY GIANTS at San Francisco: Lock of the Week. Frick, when did Jersey/A get a defence? They should have told me that before I picked (and bet on) Washington last week. Jersey/A by 28.

SEATTLE at Arizona: Interestingly, Zona won this game last season, and the only reason it was even close was because the Hags ran an interception back for a touchdown. They also only gave the ball to Alexander 12 times. But Zona also had Emmitt Smith last year and currently have no running game to speak of (31st in rushing offence, but still very much ahead of Philly *snicker*) Seahags by 7.

PITTSBURGH at Green Bay: Green Bay now has the dubious distinction of being the worst team in the NFC. Roethlisberger's out, but fortunately, Charlie Batch will only have to exist in those two seconds between the snap and handing the ball off to Willie. If they do let him throw it once or twice, he has receivers that will make him look good. And Batch can't possibly be any worse than Tommy Gunn, so Steelers by 7.

PHILADELPHIA at Washington: Seems the football Gods are punishing the Skins for running up the score against the 49ers in Week 7 with a 36-0 rout by Jersey/A in Week 8...Jesus! In this one, I have two hard stats to choose between. On one hand, NFC East teams are 13-1 at home, and on the other hand, Fat Andy is 18-3 in games following a loss. Not making it any easier is the fact that both teams just got blown out. I'll take Fat Andy's record though...I'm aware of TO's doubtful status, but Fat Andy amassed most of that 18-3 record before TO was an Eagle (although 1 of the 3 losses did come during his busted ankle, but we'll call that Koy Detmer's fault.) Eagles by 7.

Indianapolis at NEW ENGLAND: Pepto Bismol Upset of the Week. I'm aware of all New England's problems, and Indy's lack of problems. But for some reason, Indy always goes to pieces in Gillette Stadium...we've seen it many times, even though the Colts have always been the better team on paper. They've lost 6 in a row to the Patriots, two of those meetings knocked the Colts out of the playoffs. New England has hardly inspired anyone this season, but given their coach and their player personnel, I think they're just underachieving...Patriots by 3.